Porn is love you can see.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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