I will die if light touches me.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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