I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
