are you still at the devil's house?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
