it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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