I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
