So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
