he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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