Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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