It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize