ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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