Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
