We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize