Kiss
Puke
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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