Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We're facebook friends in real life
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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