Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
