just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
