Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
