It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The convent might be a nice break from real life
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
