theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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