Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
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