yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize