why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
