Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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