That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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