I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
