he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
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This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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