coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
