i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
