I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
