you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
