Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Randomize