i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
