Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize