Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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