Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.