No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
