Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
