8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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