I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis