Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.