lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
