Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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