I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
