Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
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to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
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Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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