Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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