I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
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driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
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Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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