That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
