I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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