Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect