i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments