So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize