He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
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We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
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I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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